The Little Kaleb That Could...

Karl has been wanting me to post an entry on our blog since it's inception, but I haven't really been ready until now.  Since last week was Kaleb's 1 month birthday, it seems way past time to give a little "mommy perspective" to the whole thing. 

I look at Kaleb now, and I can't believe how far we've come in such a short time.  His life so far has been extraordinary by anyone's standards, and I feel truly privileged to be his mom.  Almost daily, he does something that amazes the doctors and his mommy and daddy.  He is living proof of the power of prayer and the belief that you should never give up on something/someone that you love, even (and maybe especially) if a situation seems impossible.  So that brings me to what do I want to write about?  I guess I'll start somewhere near the beginning and just see where it takes us. ;)

When Karl and I found out we were pregnant, I spent hours thinking about what it would be like.  Like any mom, I fantasized about what he would look like, how he would sound/smell/feel, places we would take him, the opportunity to share him with our family and friends, and how much we would enjoy watching him grow and become this little person that we love more than anything we could have imagined. 

If you've followed our blog or know our story, you know everything changed in week 19 of our pregnancy and just got more complicated when he was born.  Karl has done an amazing job of describing Kaleb's heart condition and the first days after he was born, and to be honest, I'm nowhere near ready to revisit the 2 days we believed there was nothing that could be done to save him.  I can't even look at the pictures from that time without crying, but I know one day I'll be able to see them with the eyes of a person grateful for the answered prayers for his life, and be unafraid. 

In the days following his birth, I started thinking of our life with him in a whole new way.  I became grateful for every day we had with him, and began a list of things I hoped I would be able to do with Kaleb that was much different from the list I had prior to learning of his complicated condition.  I began to fantasize about a time when I would be able to hold him any time I wanted, see his face without the ventilator and tape, hear him cry, pick him up without having a nurse and respiratory therapist help me, dress him in one of his cute outfits, and so on.  Thankfully, we received the miracle of his first procedure's success, and steadily he continued to overcome the odds. 

4 weeks after that miraculous Cath Lab procedure he wasn't expected to survive, and he continues to impress everyone.  The ventilator is long gone, so we see his beautiful face every time we look at him.  All his IVs and central lines have been removed, so I can not only hold him whenever I want, but I can do it all by myself.  You've probably noticed from pictures, he's quite the stylish little guy these days-frequent outfit changes and the occasional fauxhawk for extra cuteness!  And, of course, my personal favorite milestone- this baby we were told not to expect much from is breastfeeding and beginning to take a bottle! 

Even though life in the Cardiac ICU will never be the same as if we had Kaleb at home, it is such a gift to be able to do so many everyday activities with him that many parents consider fairly mundane.  We're so blessed to be able to focus on feeding, loving, and growing him in preparation for his first surgery, and we'll never take a moment with him for granted. We can't wait to watch what happens next with our little Kaleb who can and will never let someone else's limits determine his future!  Thank you to all who continue to pray for his continued strength, health, and safety and for the skill of the doctors and nurses in charge of his care. 
Enjoy the pictures of our little man from his birthday week!
With love,
Mama

Mama's favorite pic of him smiling in his sleep-he smiles all the time now and it melts my heart every time!



Discovering his ducky paci for the first time-it's almost as big as he is!

Mimi and PawPaw dressed him for Halloween while they were babysitting!

Special cuddle time with Mama!

School Spirit for Daddy's Team!

Bottle Time w/Daddy

Bathtime w/Mama

Ready for bed

Falling asleep in Nanna's arms

Cozy in GrandPa's arms

Daddy's Little Monster

It's tough being a super stud!!

Holding my first rattle!